you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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