Yo dont text me then not text me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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