sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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