some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So many bounce houses so little time
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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