it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
