im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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