No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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