You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
