I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
