I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
