dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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