If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
