Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
