i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
