After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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