Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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