but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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