I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
