And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
