no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
