you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
