Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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