all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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