The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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