ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
