Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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