I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Come share oat with me in your robe
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
