Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
