Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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