can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
