We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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