Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
