Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
