So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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