My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
