how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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