Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
