He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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