Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
