So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
