They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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