I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Im part way to drunk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
