Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
