evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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