I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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