After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
