It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
