Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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