hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
