The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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