I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
