sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
